Why so ominous?

So, that whole Friday Night Magic thing. I got my ass kicked. By a zombie deck. Who the hell rocks zombies anymore? Back in the day they were the bees knees, but isn't it all Eldrazi and Leonin now? I didn't even know that many zombies had been released in the past three years. Yowza. I really, really hope this isn't a sign.

X

According to Gatherer, 68 zombies have been released as far back as the Shadowmoor block. I guess that's how a guy gets his ass kicked by zombies.

Another suprise: we've actually had work today. Real work. Well, I guess that depends on your definition of real work. (We're definitely not producing goods or making the world a better place. YMMV.) Our friendly neighborhood zombies already had half of it done by the time anyone else got into the office though.

X

That's "Your Mileage May Vary," for the initialism-disinclined.

I wonder how Steve is doing, BTW. You know, with the whole elevator thing. It's hard to not think of them as pets once you start locking them up in cages. Or elevator shafts. You almost feel like you should be feeding them. Unfortunately, in this instance, I'm the food. And as priceless as the image would be, I'm not about to start tossing buckets of human viscera into an elevator shaft. Haha. I wonder if anyone would even notice. Or stop to question me. My money--my very small, nearly worthless pile of money--is on "no".

Black bean and hemp burgers with cilantro and thai chiles for lunch. I might have to take back all of the bad things I've ever said about zombies. I don't think I ever ate this well while I was eating meat. I just have one more reason why McDonald's makes me sick to my stomach now. And I wonder if the rumors about human fingers ending up in the meat grinders are true...

I noticed that Mark, the facilities manager, was replacing some carpet in the northwest corner of the room today. Blood stains. Seems Bob decided to have a snack again. On Mary.

Really, people? Blood is pooling up on the carpet and you still can't figure out that there are frakking zombies all up in your business? Being that deliberately stupid is just too much work.

X

You see what I did there? Because this is a business. And it's being overrun by zombies. Lawlz. The puns. I think they probably hurt more than they heal.

X

Best contribution ever made by a Sci-Fi show to the human language. Thanks, Battlestar Galactica. Although, if we were to incorporate some of that Mandarin from Firefly into the English language... tomorrow would be 神聖的睾丸.

Mind you, quite a few of us have figured it out. It's the same group of us that used to debate over how we'd escape if there were ever a zombie apocalypse. (Ironic how now that a zombie apocalypse is a-brewin', all of us are choosing to stay put.) For the most part, though, it seems to be going unnoticed. I'm shaking my head, internet. I really hope you're all smarter than that.

On a side note, I wonder if they decided to go with carpet tiles precisely because they were expecting blood when they designed this place. I know that's not really the reason, but it makes the day go by faster if you pretend this whole institution is just a little more sinister than it already is.

I wonder if Mark knows about the Zs. He probably does. He just doesn't care. I mean, how could he not know when he's cleaning up the mess from the latest zombie attack? (And why exactly do these zudes just randomly get up and start wandering around? Is it actually because they're hungry?)

I wonder about the managers sometimes too. They're almost too oblivious for comfort. About like the last time there were a huge number of layoffs. The signs were everywhere, but they acted like they had no clue.

Assholes.

If they do know what's up, why do they keep carrying on? You'd think that in this instance they'd actually be in a hurry to split.

With regard to the rest of my day, I'm supposed to go get a drink with Khristoffer after work. Haven't seen much of him since he went to his new contract. He says he's got something I'll probably want to hear. I have no idea what he's talking about.

Anyways. This job is all numbers on paper, so I suppose I should go do a little bit of actual work so they don't have a reason to can me.

Adios, mis amigos.

~M