Friday Bloody Friday

Friday Night Magic! I'll be heading over to the local card shop as soon a I get out of this hell hole. It'll be nice to have social interaction that doesn't involve zombies for a change.

This day will never end, though. Fridays are always like that. They're like a tenth circle of hell, taunting you with an ever evasive 6 o'clock salvation. Samsara up in this bitch. A daily death and rebirth. Well, for those of us who aren't all Z'd up.

I'm not a particularly brave person. Not at all. I'm not sticking around as a show of machismo, as some have suggested. I'm sticking around precisely because I'm scared shitless. I have an English degree, I'll have you know. Lucky to not be living in a box right now. After 57 rejections, I burned the manuscript of my novel and decided that my only purpose in life was to eat, shit, and die. And play Magic . I'll be in this dump until I die.

Anyways. Zombie news time. Steve decided to be a major pain in the ass today. For some reason he decided to get up and wander around, and next thing you know he's fallen down the main stairwell and gotten himself broken and stuck on the landing between the main floor and ground level.

Of course, the security guard went to go check it out, and I bet you can guess what happened next. And now no one can get in or out of the building because this zude is hanging out waiting to bite people. (Goddammit, Todd. I've started calling them zudes now.)

I volunteered myself (against my better judgment) and Todd to go quietly remove Steve from the stairwell so that we could keep the zombie thing under wraps as well as possible, considering most people here still haven't figured it out. Not that I really have any reason for others not to know, other than that people act rashly over less.

"I can't believe you're making me do this, man," was Todd's only protest.

"We're going to need rope," I said, ignoring him.

I asked the facilities manager for said rope. He's a really cool guy, but pretty jaded after working in this place for so long. He doesn't really ask questions, and doesn't have much of a care when things go missing. "Casualty of corporate living," he'd say. He just "accidentally" left the shop unlocked and let me to it.

"Ever been in a rodeo?" Todd asked, probably assuming that,  because I grew up in the country, I knew how to rope and ride. I'll have you know that I've been on a pony once, and the only knots I can tie are the ones I make up. (I am a pretty good shot,  though, which could always come in handy.)

"I'm pretty good at claw machines. We'll see how I manage." With that, I half-assed a knot into the rope, and started tossing the loop toward Steve in an effort to get it caught under his arm.

Finally, I did, and Todd helped me wrangle Steve up the stairs.

"Now what?" Todd asked.

"Run down and hit the elevator button on the first floor." I instructed.

Steve drooled impatiently on the floor while we waited.

"Now help me pry open these doors," I said as Todd reemerged.

When we got the doors open, I tied the rope to the cable inside the elevator shaft. A press the button later and Steve was flying up into the elevator shaft.

"Weren't you just complaining the other day about how zombies might have feelings?" Todd asked.

Yeah, so I launched a zombie into an elevator shaft. He's stuck there, for now, but I don't see that it will hurt him any. He certainly can't get bored, considering what he was going to be doing instead. And now he can't bite anyone.

Really, at this point I'm just worried about having a zombie free weekend. And kicking some ass at Magic tonight.

So, what are you guys doing for the weekend?

Peace, out.

~M